The desire to procreate

Certainly from an evolutionary perspective the organisms that have some desire or instinct to procreate will be more successful than those who just don't care. For most organisms it would be sufficient for evolution's purposes to give the animal a sex drive since sex under the right conditions will result in conception. Humans, clever as we are, have decoupled sex and reproduction because nature did a great job with our desire for sex. We have done this, if for no other reason, because reproduction might result in less sex in the future, not to mention imposing a host of other demands on our resources that not all of us are interested in having.

In addition to the physical urge to reproduce we do seem to have some sort of behavioral/emotional one as well, or rather many of us do. Many men and women who at twenty are certain they never want children find themselves picking out cribs and bibs ten or fifteen years later. Why do people change their minds?

Certainly there must be many reasons for this, but one in particular that is slightly less socially acceptable than many explanations that are put forth, has occurred to me. This has mainly come about because of changes in myself whereby I find dogs frolicking to be devastatingly cute and endearing. Pets are often thought of as dependents in much the same way that children are and people frequently have their first pet before their first child. The question is then, why have I become more and more joyous at the sight of a dog playing fetch or romping with its companions?

I think its a safe generalization to say that most people get more jaded and cynical as they age. There are certainly exceptions to this, and I think its becoming less and less the norm, but its still the dominant pattern. My theory is then that at least one motivation to have children is to have something around us all the time that reminds us of optimism and innocence.

Children start out with no knowledge of pain or failure. We certainly work hard, as their caretakers, particularly in the early years, to insulate children from the "harsh realities" of life. As a result children are optimistic, adventurous, and "full of life". Similar things can be said of pets, in fact they often remind perpetually childlike. In the absence of abuse dogs are likely to remain energetic and loving until they are mangled by age or infirmity.

Is a key behavioral driver of procreation the desire to make ourselves happier with the child as a constant reminder of how innocent and optimistic we once were? If so, is there a better way to fulfill this desire? It would be interesting to study the average number of children that self actualized individuals have versus the general population.